In The River Within, Marcus feels marginalized by his church when members don't acknowledge his struggles with depression.

My wife is a huge Tyler Perry fan. Whenever he has a new movie out, she is one of the millions that helps to make it number one at the box office. She is always quoting words of wisdom and humor from his alter-ego character, Madea (the matriarchal grandma who calls it like she sees it). And every time he makes an appearance on Oprah, she is setting the DVR to record it. So when I found out that Mr. Perry had written his first new play in five years, “Madea’s Big Happy Family” and he was bringing it on tour near our town, it was a no-brainer for me to surprise her with tickets.

While I’m not as big of a fan of his movies as my wife, I definitely appreciate what Mr. Perry adds to the world of entertainment. Therefore I must admit, as the curtain rose, I was anxious to see what lessons Madea had in store for us. Her character is hilarious and uncomfortably honest at the same time.

When Madea first entered the stage, Perry broke from the script to call out those who were arriving late in the audience saying, “people have paid their hard earned money to be here and you come rolling in late?” The audience laughed and applauded in appreciation. The show itself seemed to follow the tone set in that opening impromptu moment. Like most of his shows, it came together from script to stage rather quickly (two months), was written after an influential event in Perry’s life (the death of his mother), and it used humor early on to gain the audiences trust and appreciation before driving home the messages near the end that he wanted them to take from the show (respecting elders, working hard to earn a living, and living out a Christian faith). These things seem to be the hallmark of every Tyler Perry project, and it is from this that my appreciation for him as a filmmaker stems.

About a third of the way into the show, one of the characters broke out in song. It was a song that my wife and I had never heard before, and I assumed that it was written specifically for the show. However, that assumption was proven to be erroneous within seconds as we noticed what seemed to be the entire audience had joined in on the singing; not just of the chorus, but of every word. This song was obviously quite popular, yet I’d never heard it. Because of that, my wife and I were missing out on what was obviously a very meaningful part of the show for most everyone else.

While this was an unusual experience for us, it didn’t take much processing to understand that its genesis was found in the cultural divide that separated our experiences growing up from the majority of the attendees of the play. My wife and I are both white (me much more so than her as I seem to burn at the mere thought of sunlight), and the large majority of the audience was African American. I grew up in a small town where at least 97% of the residents were white. All of my cultural experiences growing up were very homogeneous to the majority of those I grew up with, so it makes sense that I would have lived most of my life and never heard this song that was obviously so influential on many outside of my community. However, understanding this did not lessen the fact that I still felt left out in that moment. It was as if everyone else was in on a great inside joke that I was never told about.

As I was driving home after the show, it dawned on me: that moment was a small portion of what it is like to be a minority in America every day. Even though no intentional discrimination was being perpetrated, I was still reminded that I (or at the very least, my experiences) was disparate from the majority of people in the room. It gave me a great deal of empathy for those that experience that feeling daily.

As I continued to think and pray about that moment, I was reminded of Peter’s words to the Christians who were driven out of Rome by Emperor Nero around 62 AD, “live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble” (1 Peter 3:8). In order to truly live in harmony, we must find empathy for those whose experiences differ from our own, no matter the root of those differences. There is no better way to empathize with another person than to try walking in their shoes for a day. While mine was a brief experience and not nearly sufficient to truly help me understand what it might be like to live as a minority, it will serve to forever inform my thinking and understanding, and hopefully make me a more conscientious and empathetic person in general.

Sometimes it seems that we live in such a divisive society. Xenophobia is rampant as we often demonize those we see as different from us. Whether it’s because of race, religion, politics or numerous other factors, it doesn’t take much searching to find examples of Christians opting for righteous indignation over understanding and empathy. Sometimes we disguise it by calling it “tough love” or “speaking the truth” and direct it at people who may never have truly known the love of God we claim to know. Rather than reaching out to them, we choose to speak out against them; almost certainly insuring that they will never want anything to do with a God whose love we are supposed to be representing to the world. But when we reach out to those with whom we disagree and make an effort to understand from where they are coming, we move from talking about God’s Love to demonstrating it.

Walking in another’s shoes informs our thinking. Even more than that, it shows others that we care about their plight; just as Jesus walking on earth showed a world that He truly loved us and understood us. It may not have been the intended Madea lesson of the day, but it is one I will not easily forget.

Blog post by Zac Heath, Writer/Director of The River Within